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The Talmud

12/30/2018 09:28:26 AM


Dr. Seuss (channeled through Steve Kaflowitz)


If during the night one spills one’s seed

In Judaism there arises a need

To figure out once the night turns to day

When and whether one may then pray


Not true for Christians, Muslims, or Druids

They never discuss their bodily fluids

That’s one reason why the Jews are so smart

They study with care all their bodily parts

Every limb, every organ, and every hair

Must be in place before every prayer


Some might deride this as being too much

Why such a bother?  Why all the fuss?

Well, the answer is neither simple nor neat

But lend me your ear and please take a seat

I’ll explain it to you, from rasheet to tachleet          [beginning to end]


It’s because the Jews care for that which is moral

According to Torah, both written and oral

And more than that, the Jews have this pact

That requires from them that whenever they act

They do so in keeping with God’s holy laws.

Which govern it all, from the big to the small.


And that is the reason why throughout the ages

No topic’s escaped the minds of their sages

Instead, they go on for pages and pages

With disputes that sometimes seems quite outrageous

About health, about wealth, about what is contagious

About what is allowed and what is no good

All must be considered and all understood


You see it is hard to read holy text

A guidebook was needed to help the perplexed

And so came the Talmud, over hundreds of years

To explain the arcane, to make it all clear

Turn it and turn it, for everything’s there

Fri, July 10 2020 18 Tammuz 5780